Response to Ethan's "Spanish Moss"

This story is about three young boys who decide the summer before high school begins that they need to do something to bring them into adulthood. They decide to smoke weed one summer day at their favorite spot by the creek where they soon making a shocking discovery in the water.

I really enjoyed this story. I thought at the beginning of the story it was going to be just a regular coming of age story with the typical three best friends formula with the characters of Billy, Tommy, and Trig but I think adding the dark twist to the story works. I like the three characters and I think you did a good job shaping each of their identities and their different characteristics. I also liked Trig being the voice of the narrator. There was some good imagery throughout the the story especially at the beginning with the description of the trees and the creek. I might like to see a little more imagery if possible. I don't know if there's too much I would change about the story since it's pretty good as it stands. You could add a few more scenes about the after shock of seeing the dead baby, maybe a conversation between Trig and his parents or maybe a few more mentions of the spanish moss trees since it is the title. Those are just a few minor suggestions.

Great job!

Response to J.J's " A Dream"

This story is about a college student, Gabriel, who is at Columbia studying creative writing. He's not really a great student and seems to spend most of his time stoned. His thoughts drift in and out of the real world and a fake reality and this often resorts to nightmares and dreams. After one pivotal dream, he gets an idea and soon begins to write.

I liked this story and I think the plot was humorous and dark at the same time. I think you did a good job with details and describing things that Gabriel was thinking or seeing, which is important in a drug induced scene. I thought the dialogue when used was funny and captured a typical stoner. I did get a little confused when the two worlds were almost merged together and I wasn't sure which was really happening such as the scene when Gabriel is talking about his dream girl and then his friend who he likes in the real world. I think if you can do something to thoroughly distinguish between the two then that may be helpful to some readers.

I think you have some really good material and story here!

Response to Robert's "As Big as Light"

This story is about Dean Overstreet, who is now sick and upon the suggestion of his doctor, he decides to write down memories and things about his life. He is the Chief of Staff at the Huxley Manor, and through the story we learn about the father (James), mom, and son (Adrian). Adrian is a famous painter, his father somewhat disapproves of this and doesn't seem like the loving father type, and the mom is very ill. Dean recounts memories and discussions from the family.

I really liked this story! It was very well written and interesting characters. I thought there were a lot of really good details, such as describing the mansion and the tree outside. There's not much I would change about the story but maybe have some more memories that Dean remembers. A few flashbacks could be helpful to the story, maybe to see how the Huxley family has changed, in particular the father character. It just might be interesting to have a few more stories that Dean could write about and give some more insight into the characters but overall I think the story is very good!

Response to Taylor's "Aveux"

This story was very interesting and had a lot going on that kept the reader wondering what was going to happen. Vince is a lawyer, presumably in his 30's, and he loves his young daughter Amelia. Vince is having an affair with a married woman, Erica, who ends up committing suicide and then the blame is placed on Vince and lands in jail. Vince reflects on his ex-wife who left a note saying she didn't believe in God and while Vince begins to think this way he changes once he sees Amelia and they plan to leave for Paris.

I liked this story and thought all the characters were interesting. I loved all the details, such as describing Paris and talking about the Golden Retriever, Shadow. I think those sections were written very well. The portion about Erica was a little confusing at times since time seemed to jump around a little. I wanted to know more about the ex-wife, maybe some more back story or a flashback when they met or when she was pregnant. I also wanted to know more about Vince and Amelia in Paris, I think there is alot you could do with that.

I think you have a good story and with a few changes it will be great!

Response to Lauren's "Dreams and Reality"

This story is about a young man, Luke, about to enter college who has dreams of attending Ole Miss on baseball scholarship and then going on to attend law school. His father has different plans for him which include staying in his small town and taking care of the family business. Luke has managed to save up some money to buy a plane ticket as well as attend Ole Miss baseball try-outs, he leaves home leaving a note to his family describing why he's doing this. After a talk with the coach, Luke thinks he is not cut out for this life after all and goes home. Upon returning home he gets a hug from his day as well as a surprise.

I really liked this story, I thought you did a really good job making an interesting storyline and Luke had some good character development. I like how you didn't make it a typical ending where he makes the team or never returns home again but rather that there's a chance he could make the team and I like that his family now approves. I kind of want to know what happens next...are there more try-outs? Did he get back on the plane the next day and go to the same try-outs? Does he make the team? I think you could add a few more details about this.

Overall, great job!

Response to Kody's "Whatever Gods May Be"

Kody's story is about Thomas Abrams, a young man who becomes the pastor of a small town southern church and soon realizes he may not believe everything he is saying and preaching. His pregnant wife Bethany also shares these same views and after a discussion with a young football player Thomas realizes he can no longer lie to the people. He eventually quits his job as the pastor and we learn that Bethany gives birth to a perfect baby boy.

I thought this story was very well-written and thought the story content and idea were interesting. I loved all the imagery in the story, I think you really painted the picture of a small southern town very well, I liked the little details like the bullfrogs, old women drinking sweet tea, etc. The characters were also well developed but I would like to have seen a little more from Bethany. Had she always never truly believed or was this is a new thing to her? I also wanted to know why they didn't believe anymore since it seemed like they used to, was there a catalyst to this conclusion? I kind of want to know what happened after the baby was born, did they move or stay in the same town, get new jobs? I think there are a few more things that you could add to this story about slowly loosing faith to make it even better.

Good job!

Response to Jeremy's "Casting Shadows"

This story is about a 16 year old girl, Itami, who gets killed in a fire and soon wakes up to find herself in a very different world. She does not know anything including her name and can only vaguely remember details of her life. She soon meets several interesting characters ventures a trip through Purgatory leads into the afterlife with her new friends. However, we soon realize some things are not what they seem and this leads to a face-off with the main captain which eventually leads to the death and demise of Itami.

I really liked all the action that went on in this story, you always have very creative stories I think you did well with this one. I thought it was great how you were able to tell a story through the eyes of a teenage girl, which with you being a guy could have been difficult, but I thought it was funny when she thinks she is going to die and her first thought was she had never even had a boyfriend yet. I thought you had some good imagery, especially with Purgatory and the afterlife. The storyline was consistent and stayed interesting and that is sometimes hard to do with a longer short story. I might say this could be viewed as genre fiction and that could be a minor problem but perhaps there are some ways to change it up and fix that if it turns out to be a problem.

Overall, I think you have some good material and think you created a very interesting story!