Response to Jessica's "Untitled"

Jessica tells the story of a very common incident among students...waiting till last minute all while not having any idea or story content in mind. It goes through the span of one night into her class time at noon and while many distractions come up she decides to write a story about a character who seems very much like herself.

I liked this story and thought it was very clever! I think most students can relate to the main character, Andy, in terms of putting homework off and waiting till the night before to write a paper. I think you did a good job with Andy and I liked the side characters of her diva roommate as well as her friend Baylor. The conversation and dialogue seemed very real between Andy and Baylor, like a typical talk between friends which was nice. It was almost like you could see yourself in this situation and like I previously stated most probably have. I also enjoyed the scene where Andy was watching movies, tv, and watching youtube clips, it might be fun to incorporate more movies or tv shows and have her thinking of different story scenarios. Also, it might be good to have more distractions throughout the night, maybe add more characters and dialogue throughout the story. I also really like the title, I think it really sums up the story.

Overall, I enjoyed it! Great job!

Response to Jhumpa Lahiri's "Once in a Lifetime"

 This story follows the life of a young american girl who shares her and her family's home with her parent's friends from India. Throughout the story we get to see the young girl know the family and the cross cultural impact they have on each other. The story ends on a sad note with but it also ends on the same message of no regrets.

 I liked the story especially all the details and imagery! I thought this was done very well through out the story. I also liked the way it combined the two cultures, America and India, which helped shape the families and also provided some comedic moments. Being from Greek culture, my dad's Greek family is definitely different than my mom's American family so it was interesting reading this story and seeing some similarities. However, in a lot of cases with movies and books dealing with this subject they often embellish the foreign family and that was kind of done in this story but not too much. I'm not sure how much I really liked the ending, I know cancer and death are real things that happen everyday but I don't know how I felt about it in this story. I did like how the main character shows love for the young boy and is happy she got to meet this slightly different Indian family so it has that feeling of no regrets.

Overall, I liked a lot of the parts in the story and the details were fantastic but its not necessarily a story I would care to read again.

Response to Cary's "Meow"

This story is about Cyril, a young boy who obviously has a disability of some kind, and it goes through  day with him. The story starts out with Cyril reading a journal of his attractive female neighbor, Annie, who soon realizes that he has broken into her family's home and is quite mad that he has not only read her journal but a little freaked out that he has broken into her house. He then goes to visit his friend Earl, who owns a Captain D's and to visit his stray cat friend, Jimmy-cat. After a startling finding of Jimmy-cat, Earl explains that Jimmy wasn't a boy cat and that she has had kittens. Concluding with a happy ending to a good story!

Cary, I really liked your story! I think it was different and interesting to have the main character and point of view with a person who has a disability. You portrayed Cyril with such innocence and I loved that about the character. I also really like the whole setting with the Captain D's, Earl, and Jimmy-cat. When Cyril found Jimmy-cat "covered in ketchup", I thought for sure that Jimmy-cat had been hit by a car or was dying but I was pleasantly surprised that "Jimmy was actually a Jasmine or Jennifer" and had kittens. I thought that whole scene was very well done and well written. You also had a lot of great imagery like when you are talking about the moleskin journal and describing the dumpster where the cat lives.

The only part I might expand on is the beginning with the neighbor, perhaps to find more of a way to connect that to the ending or maybe show some more examples of Cyril during a typical day or maybe even a flashback to a scene with his mom who eventually leaves or mention something about his dad. You have a lot going on and enough to work with to make a good story even better!

Response to Rhama's "Cats"

 This story takes the reader through a typical day at a cat shelter in which, a cat obsessed woman, young worker, and a cat, Lily are the main characters. Lily, a one-eyed, seemingly gentle cat who is always left behind and never adopted seems to be at the center of the story. As the end draws near we soon realize why Lily has never been adopted...she isn't exactly friendly. Lily's story at the beginning is pretty much the same as the beginning which is that she is alone and still doesn't have a family but we are given a clearer picture on why this is.

 I really enjoyed this story! I thought there was a lot of great imagery from detailing the shelter to the kittens and especially the scene with the family coming to look at the cats. I also liked how the human characters didn't have names and that Lily was the only one throughout the story that was named. It gave the sense that Lily was actually the main character which I thought was really interesting and unique. I also thought you characterized a "cat lady" perfectly, I can just picture this older woman who has basically given up her life to take care of these cats and I think you did a good job with the younger shelter worker as well. The scene towards the end was also well written and I liked seeing the transformation of Lily because you just thought it was this sweet, little one eyed cat and that people didn't want her due to her looks but that's not really the case.

 The only confusion I had was that I wasn't entirely sure what the story was about. But, I think by making the story longer and maybe adding more about the humans or even Lily it would even it out a bit more. Overall, I thought you did a great job!

Response to "Incarnations of Burned Children" by David Foster Wallace

In this short story, a family of three, a mom, dad, and infant, begin the story as the mom is doing something around the stove, the father is putting on a door, and the infant near the mother on the floor. The infant soon begins screaming and the parents soon realize that the infant is soaked in boiling water.The father tries to clean off the infant with cool water but the infant is still crying. The father then notices that the infant's diaper has not been changed and that the boiling water is inside the diaper. The parents rush the infant to the emergency room and the story ends with no insight on what happens to the infant.

I will say this in an intense story and one that I will definitely remember. Having an infant being burned by scolding, hot water is an horrific image and the author does a good job of making the reader interested in what happens next. There is also a good bit of imagery in this story which I always like since I am very detail oriented. I also noticed that the sentences are quite long and sometimes that can be a hit or miss but I actually really liked this form in the story. I also noticed how none of the characters had names and I think for such a story this worked well. It kind of gave that feeling like this incident could happen to any family. I kind of wish I knew what happend to the infant but if the audience did know then I'm not sure the story would have the same effect.

"Incarantions of Burned Children" is not something I would have necessarily read if I had not been in this class but I'm glad I did. Although the subeject matter can be quite disturbing and morbid at times, much like the other short story which featured a baby being thrown into a dumpster, these are not stories I forget about. I'm used to reading stories that do have the happy ending or sugar coated but I'm learning to read more outside my comfort zone and incorporate into my own pieces. Overall, this piece was very haunting and well written!

Response to Adam's "Animals"

This story is about a young couple, a boy who is a little rough around the edges and "good girl" Jenny. The main character likes Jenny so much mainly because she is good and pure but after an incident involving earings he doesn't quite see her in the same light.

I really liked the storyline and I enjoyed the characters. I was kept interested throughout the story and I wanted to see what happened to this couple. I think you created a really strong base and have alot to go from. I would like to see more dialouge between the couple and maybe even some physical descriptions of what these two look like. I would also like to scene on how they met, maybe even a first date, since this can build up the relationship more and the reader gets to learn more about them.With these minor changes you can make your story even better.

Great job!

Response to Nate's "Summer of Lemon Drops"

This story is about a young man who has recently graduated college and gets into some trouble due to alcohol. Through his community service, which is working with preserving sea turtle babies, he also meets John. John is an older, un-educated man who ends up playing a big practical joke and thus concludes the story.

First off, I really enjoyed the story and I really think you did a great job with imagery. I love Florida and you explained things perfectly decribing it and I think my favorite part of the story dealt with the sea turtles, which I really think you can expand on. I also liked the two main characters, although annoying and un-likeable at times, I stayed interested in the story. I really think you could do more with the character of John, I wanted to learn more about him. For instance, why did he not go to college? Did he play practical jokes on all of the other community service workers? Maybe some more background story would add to this. I liked the title but you probably need to add more lemon drops if you want to keep it.

Overall, I did enjoy the story and I think with a few improvements it will be really good!